


People like You, People like Me

by agenthaywood



Series: Someday You'll Understand [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Give me back the baby., I don't like it., Other, feels are coming, prepare the feels, what's the show doing to her?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 06:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2611346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agenthaywood/pseuds/agenthaywood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That’s the difference between S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA.<br/>And that is exactly why HYDRA will win, because while a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent is debating right and wrong, HYDRA’s already taken the shot.<br/>--<br/>Experience doesn’t make it any easier, crossing someone off.<br/>--<br/>How do you get over it?<br/>You don’t, but you can learn to live with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	People like You, People like Me

**Author's Note:**

> Because people wanted me to expand on this, I guess I'll expand on it. Hooray for peer pressure!
> 
> There may or may not be a couple more installments but rest assured, there is no happy ending for this. Tell Me had the closest thing resembling a happy ending.

People like You, People like Me

_If the gifted can’t be convinced, then they’ll take him out._

_Even if the gifted doesn’t pose a threat?_

_A gifted that refuses HYDRA_ is _a threat, and threats are taken care of quickly._

_\--_

_If we can’t take him in then we take him out, do you copy?_

_The threat’s been neutralized._

_\--_

_That’s the difference between S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA._

_And that is exactly why HYDRA will win, because while a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent is debating right and wrong, HYDRA’s already taken the shot._

_\--_

_Experience doesn’t make it any easier, crossing someone off._

_\--_

_How do you get over it?_

_You don’t, but you can learn to live with it._

_\--_

_Someday, someday you’ll understand._

_No, I won’t._

\--

Skye’s eyes snapped open when the sound of the rifle firing rang through her mind. Her chest was heaving and her breathing was labored. She moved to sit up but found herself pinned to something firm.

Skye’s eyes glanced up and she caught sight of Ward’s face still shrouded in sleep.

Despite her brain’s arguments Skye felt her body losing the tension the nightmare wrought. She laid her head back against Ward’s chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. It was soft and constant.

Skye glanced over the cell and made sure no one had caught them yet. If May or Coulson saw them Skye knew Ward could expect a beating and she’d have several hours of training and the combined cold shoulders to look forward to.

Skye felt Ward’s arms tighten around her and she couldn’t help the small smile that made its way to her face, a genuine smile, something of a rarity in the last few months. She raised her head and placed one more little kiss to the underside of Ward’s jaw before snuggling back into his chest to catch hopefully a couple more hours of sleep before she had to leave.

\--

“Skye, you need to wake up. Come on, no reason to sleep in.” She heard Ward’s soft voice in her ears.

“No, five more minutes.” Skye mumbled burying her face in his chest to block out his voice.

“Skye, get up. Ward hands above your head.” Skye’s eyes snapped open at that. That was May’s voice. May was in Vault D. May saw Skye laying on top of Ward. May saw that Ward’s cell’s barrier was down. May and Coulson saw the YouTube video on the security feed.

“May, I can explain.” Skye began when she raised her head and her hands above Ward.

“I don’t want to hear it. Just get out of that bed, and go upstairs. You’re late for a briefing.” May’s voice was steady but Skye’s been on the receiving end of that tone enough in the past few months to know it meant May was one step away from ripping someone’s head off with her bare hands.

Skye did as she was told and could feel the small pangs of longing forcing themselves on her when Ward’s arms were at his sides instead of being wrapped around her.

Skye wrapped her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and lowered her head in embarrassment as she walked stepped out of the cell. When she passed May she leaned close to her ear.

“It’s not his fault. I came down here myself. I’m the one that shut off the barrier. I asked him if I could stay.” Skye pleaded with May to understand.

“We’ll talk about this later.” May cut her off as she walked to the stand next to the chair and picked up the tablet. A few taps on the screen and Ward was again encased in the electrical cage.

Skye forced her eyes shut and kept the tears at bay. She walked up the stairs and headed straight for her room. She slammed the door shut and slumped down against it.

Her mind was reeling a hundred thoughts a minute and they all came back to the same question: What the hell was she thinking?

What was she thinking? She killed Donnie and she couldn’t process it. She pulled the trigger and it was a clean shot. No one got hit with backsplash, she hit what she aimed for and the target fell. The only problem was that the target was a kid who was brainwashed and didn’t even know what the hell he was doing!

Skye slammed the back of her head against the door. The pain helped jar some of the emotion out of her throat in the form of a small grunt.

A knock on the door drew Skye out of her thoughts and up from the floor. She ran a hand threw her tangled hair and took a couple deep breaths to alleviate what little stress she could.

May was on the other side of the door with a barely concealed disappointed rage behind her eyes.

Skye remembered the first time she saw that look in the last few months. It was after she pushed herself too hard during one morning of training and had to wear a wrist brace for a couple of weeks because she punched the bag too hard and fractured her wrist.

“Sit down.” May ordered as she took a seat in the chair next to Skye’s small desk. Skye sat on the bed and waited for the incoming lecture.

“What were you thinking? You could have been killed and he would have escaped.” May said bitterly.

“I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” Skye apologized.

“Ward said you were having trouble compartmentalizing. If that was the case you should’ve come to me or Coulson. We would’ve helped.” Skye scoffed at that.

“What?” May asked annoyed.

“I couldn’t go to you or Coulson.” Skye said under her breath.

“And why not? What made it so impossible to consider that Coulson or I could’ve helped you?” May was starting to get pissed.

“Because I can’t be weak anymore.” Skye said quietly.

“You weren’t being weak. You’re only human.” May tried to reassure. She didn’t really do the whole “boost their morale thing” but here lately she’s done many things she never thought she would do.

“Skye, no one expected you to be fine after taking that shot. I just thought it would be easier to give you space.” May relented.

“I didn’t want space. I wanted someone to tell me that I didn’t just shoot a kid who couldn’t control what they were doing with as little a push as ‘Coulson told me to’. I couldn’t ask that of you. I couldn’t ask that of Coulson because you would’ve thought I was weak.” Skye said dejectedly.

“No we wouldn’t have-“

“Being weak is what got a gun shoved in my face at Quinn’s party. Being weak was letting my guard down with Miles and not checking to make sure he hadn’t sold us out.” Skye’s voice was raising with each example and her temper was flaring. As she stood from the bed all of the emotion bubbling in Skye’s stomach turned to a quiet dull rage.

“Being weak is what got me shot. Being weak was what had me defenseless when Ward turned on us back at Providence. I can’t be weak anymore.” Skye finished brokenly.

“You’re not weak, Skye.” May tried to reason with her.

“Yes, I am. I was weak because I walked into that killer’s cell and let him hold me all night. I am weak because I couldn’t remember everything he’s done because all I could think about was how _nice_ it felt to sleep in his arms.” An angry tear leaked out of Skye’s otherwise dead eyes.

“You’re not weak for that, Skye.” May lightly spoke as she tenderly caressed Skye’s cheek and wiped away the tear with the pad of her thumb.

“We’re supposed to be better than him. I called him weak for doing everything Garrett told him to, but what was my excuse?” Skye asked dejectedly.

“That’s the thing about fighting in this world, Skye.” May tentatively put an arm around Skye’s shoulders and sat her back down on the bed.

“Soldiers like Ward exist on both sides. They’re the ones that take the kill shots and collect information through whatever means they have. People like you aren’t meant for that.”

Skye raised her head and stared at May. Was she really justifying Ward’s actions? May was probably the most pissed off out of everyone when they found out about Ward.

“People like you are the dreamers. You give the soldiers meaning to their orders. When they kill they think of people like you. They justify that every enemy they kill leaves people like you a little more protected.” May finished.

“I’m not that weak little girl anymore, May. I’m a field agent. I get my orders and I follow them, without question. Maybe that’s just who I am now.” Skye spoke with a low tone and a vacancy in her voice.

“I’m taking you off the active roster for a little while. Lance can pick up the slack until you get things sorted out.” May said before standing to leave.

“No,” Skye’s defiance was a surprise for once. She rarely argued anymore, and when she did she gave up far quicker than she used to.

“Excuse me?” May said in hopes of squashing this small rebellion. Skye didn’t need to be on missions, she needed time to cope.

“I’m not sitting out on the mission. Now what is it?” Skye stood from the bed and walked to her small closet to grab her gear.

May released a deep sigh and waited patiently for Skye to start checking the clasps and hooks in her vest before answering. When Skye looked at her expectantly, May knew that she was serious.

“Coulson wants us to grab an O-8-4 out of Pakistan. The locals are calling it a meteor but three people have died within its proximity since it was discovered. Our job is to get it and silence the locals before the U.S. or Interpol get a hold of it.” May rattled off the details like they were words from a book.

“What do you need me to do?” May was shocked by how easily Skye seemed to fall into the soldier persona. Maybe Skye wasn’t a dreamer after all.

“Help Trip run interference with the local police and then scrub records of the O-8-4 from the internet.” May explained.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Skye brushed her off as she hurried to change out of the sweatpants and hoodie and into her tactical suit.

“We leave in 10.” May told her as she left the room.

\--

Skye rechecked her vest and gloves. She made sure her spare magazine for the ICER was accessible and she tested the sites on her gun. May carried a duffel over her shoulder and passed it to Skye who laid it at her feet.

“I need you on over-watch. Trip will try to keep the locals from disturbing the site but if they get passed…” May trailed off hoping she didn’t have to explain the full detail of Skye’s assignment. Coulson nearly made her sick when he told her the plan the first time.

“I take them out, I’ve got it.” Skye put on a smile and tried not to think about it too much.

May nodded her confirmation and walked up the ramp of the BUS to the cockpit. Skye picked up the duffel and walked up the staircase to the Command Center.

She unzipped the duffel and pulled out the pieces of the sniper rifle. The assembly of the gun took less than two minutes and Skye tried not to think about how Ward would’ve had one of those shy smiles at her time.

Skye pulled the hammer back on the rifle and pulled out the box of ammo in the duffel. She started sliding in round after round. As she got to the fifth round she dropped the bullet.

Her hands were shaking. She couldn’t make them stop. Her mind flashed back to the boat; to the shot firing; to the blood spurting out of Donnie’s chest.

Skye slammed her hands down on the table. She took deep breaths trying to steady her erratic breathing. She heard footsteps enter the room and someone bend down to pick up the round she dropped.

“You alright?” She heard Lance ask. She wanted to scoff but she knew Coulson would disapprove.

“I’m fine.” Skye answered quickly. Lance handed her the round and she quickly put it in the chamber of the rifle.

Lance just looked at her. She felt the guilt rise out of her chest and manifest in her hands shaking and a light sheen of sweat forcing itself to the front of her skin.

“They say that soldiers are soulless entities that only know war and strife.” Lance said out of nowhere. Skye looked at him wanting to get his point out of the way so she could finish prepping for the mission.

“That’s a load of bullocks. Killing effects soldiers just as much as anyone. The ones who aren’t effected, they’re not soulless, just broken.” Lance looked at her with a knowing gaze. Skye didn’t have to think too hard to understand what he was getting at.

She was the broken one. She was the one who didn’t have the reaction to killing someone. She was the one who could just follow an order without protest. Lance could kill, he has killed according to what Skye could dig up on him, but he still protested orders seemingly every day.

Lance spared her one last glance and looked like he was going to say more, but the color leaving Skye’s face stopped him.

“At the risk of losing my ass, are you ok?” Lance spoke softly. He was an ass but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew Skye was fragile right now, even if she didn’t.

“I’m fine.” Skye choked out. She didn’t need or want anyone’s pity. She had a job to do and people weren’t letting her!

Skye’s hands were still shaking slightly and she curled her fists to make them stop. She wasn’t soulless! She just followed orders, it wasn’t her choice or her fault! It was Coulson’s order, what was she supposed to do?

Skye clamped the sight on the rifle and screwed on the suppressor before she took off for the seats in the cargo hold.

The weight of the rifle in her hands felt heavier than it did the last time she held it. Skye blamed it on the suppressor and the bigger scope. May apparently thought that a night-vision-thermal hybrid was better than the regular scope she used last time.

_They know what they’re doing, Skye. Just trust them._ Skye told herself.

Skye attached the sling to the rifle and put around her shoulders. She flicked her hood up and waited for the BUS to land.

\--

Pakistan wasn’t remotely what Skye pictured it to be, not that she was going to go exploring right now. She peered through the sight on her rifle and took mental notes on the people around the AO.

Skye scanned back to where Trip was and held her breath. He was talking to someone, Skye couldn’t tell who it was but the night-vision let her see the outline of a hat. It looked like the kind of hat Skye had seen ship captains wear so she assumed it was probably a Lieutenant.

The man was angry, that was something Skye could see clearly. He was throwing his arms yelling something indistinctly at Trip. Trip was doing his best to calm the man down. He wasn’t doing a very good job.

“Do I need to take him out?” Skye spoke into her earpiece. No one could see her. She was shrouded in the bush of a tree about thirty feet up.

“No, it’s fine. Trip’s got it, but keep your eye on the perimeter.” May spoke calmly through Skye’s ear.

Skye scanned the area again and found a couple of teenagers trying to sneak in. Skye flipped the safety off of the rifle. She was going to kill them.

Lance walked into her line of sight at the last second and shooed the kids away. Skye released a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.

Skye brought her sight back to Trip and saw that he was making no progress. The man was still yelling at him and trying to force his way passed.

Skye was interrupted by a slight beeping on her wrist. Her heart monitor was showing her pulse, 95bpm. She took a small, steadying breath to ease her heart. She could make it out of this without killing someone. She could. It wasn’t going to be the hardest thing in the world.

Except when the general-guy shoves Trip out of the way and Skye remembered that there was no spare ICER ammo in the base before they left so everyone’s using actual guns.

She kept the sight of the rifle zeroed in on the man and waited for May or someone to take him down so she didn’t have to pull the trigger.

“Skye,” May’s voice crackled in her ear. “Take him out; we’re not finished yet.”

Skye pulled the trigger.

It was easy, doing it with someone else telling her to instead of using her own judgment. It made the act somewhat cleaner in her mind. Maybe if she only did it when she told to she would be able to keep her hands clean?

“Nice shot.” May congratulated before Skye saw Lance shuffle the body over his shoulders and start walking it over to the nearby ditch.

Skye moved her sight to scanning the perimeter and chambered the next round. The casing of her kill shot struck the branch with a clicking noise, the only noise she could hear in the dark Pakistan night.

She lifted her wrist from the barrel and checked her watch, 61bpm, great.

“Okay, we’ve got we need. We’re pulling out. Skye, cover our exit.” May ordered quickly.

“Copy that.” Skye spoke automatically. She followed May through the sight of her rifle as May walked through the alleyways of a few abandoned houses with Lance and Trip in tow.

Skye started her descent down the tree and back to the BUS once she saw May and the others make their way up the ramp.

Skye strapped herself into the seat closest to the ramp before takeoff. Trip was moving the O-8-4 to the back of the plane while May busied herself with the preflight checks.

Skye pulled the hammer back on the rifle and checked her remaining rounds, 4. Only one kill this mission. It was only one kill last mission.

“Expecting trouble in the air?” She heard Trip ask as he sat down next to her.

“Nope. Just checking my rounds. You never know.” Skye spoke with ease. The front was easy to put on. No one needed to see her problems. It wasn’t important. The mission was important. Fitz needs a safe world to live in and Coulson needs all the soldiers he can get. She would do both.

“Thanks for getting the General. He just brushed past me and I didn’t have an ICER. Sorry you had to take that measure.” Trip was sorry. She didn’t need him to be sorry nor did she want him to.

“It was nothing. You would’ve done the same.” Skye put on a tight smile. She didn’t need this. She didn’t need people worrying about her. She got her issues out last night and if needed she would do it again.

It was all Ward was good for now besides information anyway. Something she could use to relax her nerves. The only flaw with that was Coulson wouldn’t approve and it didn’t look like May was going to anytime soon.

Trip nodded at her before standing and making his way to the top of the BUS. Skye pushed the hammer back on the rifle and heard a round insert itself in the chamber. She laid the butt of the rifle at her feet and gripped the barrel with more force than she was aware of.

Her body was reacting to the kill the same way it did last time, calmly. Her mind didn’t plague her with the images of the body dropping like it did with Donnie.

_I guess May was wrong, it does get easier the more you do it._ Skye thought sadly as she relaxed her grip on the rifle.

\--

The BUS landed in the PLAYGROUND and the other agents were abuzz with activity. Trip stepped off the BUS with the O-8-4 and May in tow. Lance walked off with a dolly holding a couple boxes.

Mack and Fitz were standing in the lab waiting for Trip to let them take a look at the O-8-4. Skye saw how Fitz’s hands were moving more coherently than they were the week before. It brought a small smile to her face. Her little brother was doing better.

“Agent Skye,” Someone spoke behind her. Skye turned to look at them and saw it was Koenig.

“Director Coulson wants a word with you.” He spoke bristly. Skye hoped he didn’t see how her eyes lit up at hearing that.

“On my way.” Skye replied automatically.

Coulson’s office was similar to the one he had on the BUS, littered with memorabilia that belonged in a museum.

“You wanted to see me, Sir?” Skye spoke timidly as she opened the door.

“Yes, come in.” Coulson gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

Skye sat down stiffly and tried not to think too much on finally getting a one on one with Coulson.

“We need Ward’s help on a mission.” Coulson spoke in a business like tone. This ordeal was actually business to him.

It wasn’t to Skye. It was one of the few rare times she got to talk to him, but he had a mission for and those came first.

“I’ll go down to the Vault to see what I could get.” Skye wasn’t thrilled to speak to Ward again but she knew better than to question her orders.

“We don’t need Intel, we need Ward to accompany you on the mission.” Coulson spoke slowly, gauging Skye’s reaction.

Skye blinked in recognition to Coulson’s words. She was going to be working with Ward? They were going let them near each other without a barrier between them?

“Why?” Skye tried to keep her exasperation out of her voice and remain the firm agent she’s become, but it was failing because of what was being asked of her.

“He knows the identity of the target and he refuses to tell us unless we let him take the shot.” Coulson rattled the terms off as though they were of little consequence.

“Target?” Skye repeated.

“We have reason to believe that a HYDRA operative is scoping out a venue for a meet. Ward already said that the person the operative would be meeting won’t know who they look like until a phrase is spoken between them, “are you ready to comply?” Skye’s head snapped up straight immediately at the mention of the code phrase.

“HYDRA’s meeting a brainwashed operative?” Skye knew what the phrase did.

“Yes, and we’re hoping that maybe if _we_ can get to them first, then we can get something we can use against HYDRA.” Coulson reasoned.

“Then why do we need Ward?” Skye still wasn’t understanding the reason for bringing Ward out.

“Ward refuses to tell us how to spot the operative without being on site, _with you.”_ Coulson stressed the “with you” to her.

“Who else will be there?” Skye wanted to know if May would have her back on the mission.

“Ward’s terms were ‘no one but Skye, and if I see anyone else, then I take off.’” Coulson repeated.

“If he takes off, then wouldn’t we just catch him?” Skye didn’t even believe herself. She knew Ward was good at disappearing, it was something they shared in common.

“You know that wouldn’t happen.” Coulson affirmed her belief.

“Okay,” Skye relented.

“Okay?” Coulson repeated.

“Yes, Sir. I’ll take the mission. When do I leave?” Skye fell back into soldier mode to spare Coulson the hurricane of emotions whirling in her eye.

“Tomorrow morning. I'm going to have May make sure Ward's mission ready before then though.” Coulson finished the briefing.

“Yes, Sir.” Skye spoke tightlipped.

“You’re dismissed.” Coulson waved her off before turning back to a file on his desk.

Skye hurried out of his office trying not look like a bat outta hell. She was going on a mission with Ward? Was that safe? Was that smart?

“Skye,” May’s voice brought her out of her thoughts. Skye snapped to attention and turned to face her SO.

“Yeah,” Skye forced out.

“I want you to take this on the mission tomorrow.” May said as she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a small metal case.

“What is it?” Skye asked as she turned it through her fingers.

“Insurance, in case Ward tries something.” May spoke with a venomous tone in her voice.

“Do you think he’d really do something with me there?” Skye was skeptical of Ward putting her in danger, he cared about her too much.

“Skye, regardless of his feelings for you, he’s a Specialist, they’re best at self-preservation and if he sees a threat to his life he’s sure to take whatever measures he needs to make sure that he gets out of it alive.” May warned her.

“Okay, I’ll keep an eye on him.” Skye spoke with fervor.

“Be careful out there, OK?” May urged.

“I will. I’m going to shower and get some sleep.” Skye replied softly, not trusting her voice to be strong at that point.

May nodded her consent and walked away from her. May turned on her heel and made her way to the Vault.

\--

Ward was doing pushups, something he found himself doing a lot of in here. Exercise was one of the only things he had to take his mind off his situation. He heard the door above the stairs open and moved to stand up and put his shirt back on.

“Intel after a mission? That’s not like Coulson, what do you need to know Skye?” Ward spoke calmly before he turned around.

May looked at him crossly, not liking to see him.

Ward sighed. “So what’s going on?” Ward asked with agitation in his voice.

“You’re going on a mission, with Skye.” May spoke quickly.

Ward’s eyes lit up at that. “Really,” He spoke with a disappointed disbelief. “You’re going to let me out of here _and_ I’m going to be in the field with Skye? What’s the catch?”

“I need you to keep an eye on her, watch for any, _ticks.”_ May had to force the instructions out of her mouth. She didn’t like the plan but she needed someone who could watch Skye without compromising the mission and Ward was the only other person she knew beside herself who could do that.

“Is this about the gifted she killed?” Ward spoke with a soft tone.

“Among other things.” May affirmed.

“Whatever you need then.” Ward agreed as he walked up to the barrier.

May took out a phone and pressed a couple keys on the screen and the barrier fell.

“Follow me and let’s get you cleaned up.” May spoke with a disturbing ease.

**Author's Note:**

> So Ward and Skye are going on a mission together. What's May having them do to the other? Why was there no cuddling? Quick answer: I'm an evil son of a bitch.
> 
> Like I said if you want to debate Skye's current characterization, find me on Tumblr at Zoroark3496.


End file.
